Saturday, February 26, 2011

MyStory Campaign 2011

Campus for Christ planned a campaign called MyCravings and, as part of that campaign, we were encouraged to write out our stories and post them on facebook for everyone to see. I decided since I haven't made a post on my blog in a while, I'd post the story on here too. I hope that it can be an encouragement to you as evidence of how God can transform a life and satisfy our cravings.

Looking back, I spent a lot of my life being anxious. I worried about almost every single aspect of my life- my future, my relationships, my career... everything. I craved security and I felt as though I was completely responsible for fitting every little piece of my life into place perfectly. The thought of that was incredibly overwhelming to me.

When I got to university, I began to crave security with my friendships. Knowing that I would be meeting so many new people, I saw university as an opportunity to be any person I wanted to be. I wanted to fit in and be well- liked by everyone. Within the first few weeks, I realized I didn’t quite fit in the way I had hoped- so I began to change the way I acted so that people would accept me. Over the next two years, I became completely immersed and carried away by that lifestyle. I tried to fill my desire for acceptance and security through constant partying and drinking and meaningless relationships with guys.

Throughout those two years, I thought I was happy. But I never stopped to think about where my life was going. I had all of these amazing plans mapped out in my head for my future, but I began to see that the way I was living didn’t reflect that at all.

The life I was living wasn’t satisfying me or my desires for acceptance and security. It was all an act- a desperate attempt to fit into a world that I convinced myself I wanted to belong to. I felt completely empty and alone and I was seeking something more than the attention I would get from being the wild girl at a party or from being with guys.

Did people even know me past the surface?

The thing is, I didn’t know how to fill that emptiness. No matter what I did- working hard in school, planning out my career, going to all the parties, making a lot of friends- nothing satisfied me in the end.

This past May, just after returning home for the summer, I met someone who shared with me how he found his satisfaction- through Jesus. He explained that God loved us so much that He sent His son Jesus to earth to die for us- for every mistake we had ever made, for every wrong thing we had ever done- all so that we could be forgiven and have a loving relationship with God.

Hearing this, I realized that Jesus was what was missing. That day, I gave my life over to Christ.

Knowing how much God loved me despite all of the mistakes I had made, despite running away from Him for so long- it was a crazy thought. It was the kind of love I had been seeking all along and had been unable to find anywhere else.

This love also brought with it a sense of peace- having faith that my future is secure through Jesus. The “unknown”, which I once feared, has now become the “unfolding”. There is a comfort in knowing that I am not responsible for fitting every single piece of my life together perfectly but rather that God will slowly reveal His plan for my life to me. Looking back, all of that worrying seems pointless. As the bible says in Psalms 55:22: “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall”.

For so long, all I craved was a sense of security in every aspect of my life- whether that be in my future or in my friendships. I craved this security and acceptance so much that I was even willing to change my entire life just to fit a certain mold. Doing this left me empty and searching for more.

Since letting Jesus into the driver’s seat of my life, I’ve been able to find that thing that was missing. I know that I make mistakes and that not everything may work out the way I expect it to- but knowing that Jesus died for me and that God has a plan for my life gives me a sense of security that just can’t be found anywhere else.

Click on the link below if you are interested in hearing more student stories!

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